I’ve never seen a year full of more ups and downs than this particular one we’re in. Every day is full of the unexpected. One minute it’s raining, the next sun is shining. We’re laughing one moment and crying the next one. An emotional roller coaster of sorts is what it’s been. So unpredictable at best. You wake up one morning and find that your whole world has changed.
If there’s anything I’ve learnt at all this year, it’s that we can never truly, really plan ahead. We can best just leave life in the hands of God. It’s impossible for us to even see past our noses. Who are we to say that we will do this and that tomorrow, next week, next month or even next year? For man is but as grass, and our lives are like smoke and vapour. Here one moment, and gone the next.
Here’s a bit of biblical wisdom:
Go to now, ye that say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
James 4:13-15 KJV
There’s no surety, no guarantee, no assurance of anything. So if I’ve ever seemed ungrateful to you God, if I ever complained so much about the discomfort and the pain, I’m sorry. For ever worrying about the silly inconveniences and material things I didn’t have, I’m sorry. I’m only grateful to be alive up until this point, and so with the deepest gratitude from the bottom of my heart, I say thank you for the greatest gift of all: Life, for the grace to breathe inexpensive air.
We’ve lost so much as a collective race of humanity this year, but we’ve also equally learnt to appreciate the littlest of things a whole lot more.
Related: Endless Unknown Possibilities…
This doesn’t stop here, but I’m choosing to take life one second a time, trusting in my maker every step of the way, for the next isn’t promised.
I only hope that at the end of my journey here, I would have lived a life well spent and one worthy of my creator.
Henceforth, I strive to do everything that I can do. Following in the footsteps of one of my favourite quotes of all time:
I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.
– Edward Everett Hale.
Isn’t it ironic, that I lacked words and battled with writers’ block for quite a while, but it took grief to bring out words gushing from my soul…
Then I remember a certain other quote by one of my most revered authors and distant mentors:
I’ve had a lot of pain in my life. In fact, almost everything I’ve learned in life, I’ve learned through pain. I’ve learned nothing from pleasure. I’ve learned very little from success. But I’ve learned boatloads through pain. God is more interested in making me a man of God than he is in making me comfortable. And God is more interested in making you a man or woman of God than he is in making you comfortable in the short-term. You will be comfortable for all of eternity in heaven.
– Rick Warren
The way the world is set up right now feels like we’re in a constant race against time and we never know when it’ll be our last moment here on earth. We’re thus reminded that we’re nothing but pilgrims, sojourners on a journey somewhere and this isn’t our final destination.
Along this road called life, we discover that the path isn’t always as smooth as we imagine it’ll be. It’s undulating, full of highs and lows much like a mountain terrain. It could bring about emotional wounds that tend to scar. But to heal without scars over time, I’ve discovered two things that have helped me quite a lot: writing (basically journaling; the unbundling of my thoughts and emotions) as well as prayer. Both I have found to be extremely therapeutic to the soul.
This is the irony of life. Photo credits: Unsplash
I’m not a grief counsellor, I don’t claim at all to be good with it and this article is not an attempt to simply move you past your pain or get you over it in a hurry. Time would always have to take a course in the healing process and there’s no rushing or speeding it up. We all process things differently and it’s one of the things that make us unique as individuals.
I have yet another quote that resonates with me right now.
‘Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.’Unknown
One amazing thing about God is that beyond the comfort that any human can give, He is one that can truly, really love us past our pain. Even before understanding dawns on us, which might never even happen, His wisdom shines through our darkest hour. Knowing this brings with it it’s own brand of peace.
It’s not enough to ask a thousand and one questions to which we’d probably not get any satisfactory answers to. We can only choose to rest in the knowledge of His will and it’s supremacy in our lives.
So ask me again what do I think of life? I think a lot of things about it, starting with its brevity. I also think a lot of thoughts about God. Every experience of pain might not be a learning moment, it could happen without reason or question. This is one of the many faults in our stars. If only our world was perfect, we’d perhaps be happier. Alas, it isn’t so.
Therefore, I pray the serenity prayer one more time:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Love and Grace,
© Zizi, 2020.