Are you prone to exhibiting self-sabotaging behaviour?
How do you even know if you are, assuming it’s become a rather subconscious habit of yours, unintentionally developed over time?
It’s like you’re armed on a battlefield, only to find that the enemy is yourself. By self-sabotage, you’re practically shooting yourself in the leg and stunting your own growth…
To Sabotage, is to deliberately destroy or damage something in order to prevent it from being successful.
You may ask at this juncture; but What then is Self-sabotage itself?
It can be inferred as; The sabotaging, whether consciously or subconsciously, of oneself, one’s own interests, plans etc.
It’s tempting to ask now: why would anyone in their right minds or senses actually do this to themselves? And for this million-dollar, puzzling question, I could only come up with but one universal answer: FEAR.
We’re all afraid of something, to different measures, certain extents and degrees. But when a person becomes so consumed with fear, particularly of the unknown, of uncertainty and possibilities that might be good or bad, it often ends in an attempt to self-destruct.
Self-destruction then becomes the go-to defence mechanism to protect oneself from whatever they fear might or may not even happen.
Self-destructive behaviours come in various different ways, but self-sabotaging is definitely one of it.
However, the thing is, we’re never guaranteed success at any point or in anything. We’d truly, never really know what the outcome would be if we never try. Trying is the risk that self-sabotage doesn’t want to take.
Life is a mixture (cocktail mix); like a perfect blend of good and bad, joy and pain, black and white… A ying-yang phenomenon, all coming into balance.
By boycotting all of the possible sadness, we also lose out on what endless happiness could come.
We presume the absolute worst that could happen, but whatever happened to hoping for the possible best instead?
But no, we’re much too familiar with the crushing sorrow that envelopes our hearts at expectations dashed and hopes unfulfilled.
So we take this mechanism instead and use it as a band-aid over our hearts that we think fragile. We cage ourselves in our own very little cocoon, thinking ourselves safe from harm.
But even the tortoise has to come out of its shell in order to truly live. It can’t stay hidden forever. In the same vein, like us, we can’t stay in hiding either. By hiding ourselves from truly feeling anything or finding actual risks worth taking in life, we’d discover that we can’t even begin to truly LIVE.
We can be our very own biggest fans yet our worst critic. Which would you be? Which do you think is much rather helpful? To be your own best friend? Or the worst enemy? The enemy within is the most difficult to conquer.
No person can actually move forward with anything in their lives if they have one hand out front, and the other hand pulling the first one back. I mean, it’s just ridiculous when you picture it.
I care very much about your mental health and well being, thus it’s my desire for you to desist from self-sabotage. No one can help you become or amount to much if you’re very much unwilling to do so yourself. The world is already full enough of people who would sabotage the other, why do it to yourself?
You deserve that success, love and happiness. Tell yourself that you’re worthy of it.
There’s this famous quote that was adapted into the movie Akeelah and the Bee, that I find very relevant to this article. It goes:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that’s within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people the permission to do the same.
I’m a firm believer in Christ and His word backs up everything this article has said. I would like to conclude with these scripture anchors:
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7 KJV
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18 KJV
Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
Isaiah 41:10 KJV
The pessimist (glass-half-empty mentality) asks: what if I lose? While the optimist asks: what if I win?
Life can sometimes seem like a game of chance, but the key to great sportsmanship is maintaining an attitude of good and positive vibes only.
Today, I’m doing movie quotes, and there’s also another one I’d like to share from the movie ‘A Cinderella Story’. It says:
Don’t let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game.
Easier said than done right? But each day brings with it a new opportunity and fresh slates to make the right and better choices.
Love and Grace,
© Zizi 2020.