Life Lessons

Behind the Scenes of the Perfect-dish Mentality

Is often a mess. You don’t see what it took to get there. Only the results, mostly that’s what people care about, not the process but end results…

However, life is not all cookie-cutter and perfect. Perfectionism is a myth, don’t fall for the bane. You’re allowed to simultaneously be a work in progress and a masterpiece. Beautifully flawed, I know that sounds contradictory, but that’s the reality of life.

Bishop T.D Jakes is an amazing man I respect so much, one who I’ve learned a whole lot from. I would be sharing an excerpt of my lessons from this great man.

“Growing up in the Internet age, millennials are accustomed to entrepreneurs, many of whom are their peers, exploding overnight as viral sensations with millions of hits. They have friends who aren’t even trying to sell anything who amass social media followers in the tens of thousands”.

I know for sure that this is a reality we’ve all probably faced at some point or the other in our individual lives.

“Such instantaneous success appears to happen magically without slogging through the waiting, watching, and wondering phase that the vast majority must experience”.

It’s like watching reality TV stars, I know my fellow Nigerians can relate from the BBNaija show, it’s not helping matters in teaching youths a seeming shortcut to fame and success, stardom on a platter without any real hard work.

“It’s like the cooking shows you see on TV. The celebrity chef shares her recipe and walks you through making her dish in only ten minutes”.

Honestly, this always seems like magic to me.

“Magically, her vegetables are already chopped, her butter is already at room temperature, and, of course, her perfectly equipped kitchen is clean and beautifully organized.”

But what we don’t see is all the mess that goes on behind the scenes to ensure TV perfection, it’s a lot of hands-on-deck that we don’t see helping to make this process as seamless as possible, and where we tend to miss it, is expecting TV reality to be actually real, which is not the case with life.

“And no sooner has she placed her pan in the oven than we see her taking a bite of the completely cooked entrée. Even though we know she had that finished dish ready beforehand, along with lots of help from her production crew, we think we should be able to cook the same dish just as easily and quickly.”

This is often where disillusion sets in. We end up disappointed on not being able to replicate the same exact results as seen even though with fewer, limited resources. Isn’t that just unrealistic of us? Extend grace to yourself and allow for the seemingly imperfect moments of life to happen and take place.

“I fear millennials often have the same kind of perfect-dish mentality with their careers and new ventures. When they struggle or aren’t immediately recognized by others for their talent, they grow impatient and feel frustrated or disrespected”.

I know I’ve felt this way, more often than I’d like to admit. Particularly with blogging, I just have to remind myself of “why” I do this. Cristian Mihai, one of my favourite bloggers once said this and I quote,

Dreaming is free, the hustle is sold separately.

The struggle is part of the process and we must realize that. It was never meant to be easy, if it was, everyone would be wildly successful at it. So do away with the fixed mindset that thinks it should be effortless to prove it was meant to be. Embrace the growth mindset that allows for failure and setbacks, with the understanding that they serve as learning opportunities. The danger with the perfect-dish mentality is that we want success, and we want it now.

“If they persevere, however, they gradually realize that success requires TALENT, TIME and TENACITY, the three Ts of success”.

Having talent alone isn’t enough, while some have managed to become overnight sensations due to this alone, this is the exception rather than the rule. Everything good requires time to be established and maintained. Those who’ve relied only on talent without investing time in personal development, often end up experiencing fleeting fame and fortune.

How tenacious are you? Check anyone that is successful in whatever field you equally aspire to be a success in, and you’d realize that consistency played a huge factor in their stories.

Having gleaned a little from the wisdom of a great man,

I, therefore, encourage you this day to not give up in whatever endeavours you’re deeply passionate about. While there are some motivational speakers who withhold information about their humble backgrounds, there are a lot of great people who’ve let us in on their really small beginnings. Remember that success also is relative and individualized. Appreciate where you are in the journey, not relenting to celebrate the process, acknowledging every win along the way whether “big” or “small”. It all adds up together making the whole of who you are. You are the sum total of your life’s experiences…

“Becoming is better than being”
― Carol Dweck

Last Sunday made it exactly a year since I published my first actual post on this blog. Along the way, I’ve had cause for re-evaluation and introspection, but I can’t say I regret any part of this journey so far, reality checks along the way have helped to put things in proper perspective and to gain clarity of purpose.

It’s been an amazing first year,

Cheers to many more years of blogging, God willing🥰. I love you all, thank you for sticking with me so far.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter.

— Izaak Walton

Whatever journey you’re on in life, know that it is a marathon, not a sprint.

Love and Grace,

© Zizi 2020.

Images courtesy: Darazizi, Unsplash

For further reading: The Pitfalls of Comparison

6 thoughts on “Behind the Scenes of the Perfect-dish Mentality”

  1. Ah, very well said! Whenever I make my own food, the kitchen is always a mess afterwards. I don’t know anyone whose kitchen is pristine after making a whole meal. So, after every meal, I have to clean. This is why I can’t tolerate social media. We only ever see the highlight reel of people’s life and then compare our behind the scenes to those perfectly orchestrated moments. It’s all a fraud.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! You’ve just put it aptly and in a very succinct manner. Though, I’ve heard schools of thought to clean as you cook, so no one even knows what you’re cooking from the mess. But that’s why I know that social media is never real life and shouldn’t ever even be compared to reality. Everyone shows their best foot forward. We should be kind to ourselves and not get sucked in the fraud😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Absolutely. Cleaning as you’re cooking?! Someone teach me this skill because I can barely keep up with cooking multiple things at once, much less cleaning after myself simultaneously!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. The quotations in the middle were so eye opening to read, and the whole write-up. Thank you, in today’s world where everyone is just fighting, seeing people still vouch for breathing in the middle of chaos is really great

    Liked by 1 person

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