Those who truly love, care and value you, will go the extra mile to ensure peace and harmony in the relationship.
– Dara Nuga
Either in friendship or more.
They would go out of their way to put ego aside for the sake of what you have together. Even explaining away misunderstanding because they do not seek to engender strife. Opinions are not prioritised over the bond. Winning arguments aren’t the goal and do not matter.
Fostering peace does.
“I value you more than the need to be right, more than my ego”.
It’s agreeing to disagree, not dismissing feelings, or ignoring them, but ensuring proper communication takes place so that each party is understood.
It’s seeking to understand and be understood. It’s leaving no room for malice and conflict sharing.
It’s choosing which battles to fight and doing away with the needless, unimportant, or seemingly insignificant ones.
Not sweating the small stuff.
It’s respecting the other’s beliefs and person, and knowing or rather not letting anything be bigger than the both of you, or giving it power to come between what you share and have.
It’s not being too big to apologize or say I’m sorry, that’s how you show value.
In summary, you show value in relationships by:
Love goes out of one’s way for the sake of the other. Explaining itself through words and actions. It’s sincere and genuine. It makes you feel affection.
Love is also about how we each make the other feel, and how we wield that power for their good. Words only count when they make things better; either in correction or appraisal.
Love involves knowing how to touch them even without really touching. Words that affirm by touching the soul.
What’s the point if you can only make my body feel and my heart feels nothing? It’s mindless and pointless.
These three ways of showing value in relationships are patterns I’ve noticed subtly, particularly in a few of my male friends. I’m grateful to them for this subconscious knowledge and learning experience, and for the gift of amazing friends. Shout out to you guys, I dedicate this post to you all.
So thank you:
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel
– Maya Angelou
Love and Grace,
© Zizi 2020
Photos by Helena Lopes on Unsplash. Gracias.