I’ve observed that life lessons would always repeat themselves when you haven’t learnt them properly.
Past lessons would keep repeating for as long as you need to learn and relearn.
Experiences of the past repeating themselves, sounds very much like a tragedy.
Permit me if the lessons sound a bit gender biased, but they’re from a feminine angle.
I seldom talk about relationships, much less from a personal point of view. From a Christian or rather godly perspective, I have about twelve lessons I’d like to share:
1. As a Christian, you have the mind of Christ guiding you and teaching you what to do. There would be times you get swayed emotionally, but we’re not a people led by our emotions but by the Spirit of God.
2. Pray, pray, pray. As Christians everything we do should be guided by God. This includes relationships. I believe it is folly for a Christian to ever enter into a relationship without proper leading from God.
3. Rules and guidelines always keep us in check. Even relationships have rules. Guard your heart, guard your Purity. Healthy boundaries, both physical and emotional are very important.
4. Never ever try to compromise your spiritual values even a little because once compromise starts, you’ll find yourself continuously compromising your values.
5. An ungodly man who doesn’t share your values and principles would lie and pretend, only to get you to compromise and let your guard down, in the end turning out to be everything they’ve pretended not to be.
6. People rarely if ever do they change. For example, ‘Going back to an ex with the notion that they’ve changed is folly. In the end, you would remember that the relationship ended for a reason and that the very reason is still there’.
7. Perfect doesn’t exist. ‘If something is too good to be true, then it just might be exactly that; not true’.
8. ‘Brutal honesty is always better than soothing lies‘. Some would love to bask in the brief euphoria that a soothing lie could offer, even after knowing fully well the truth, but this in itself is an attempt to postpone, and elongate the eventual hurt that comes with the lie.
9. To avoid disappointment is to have no expectations. Paraphrasing this, it means if you have a lot of expectations, there’s bound to be some level of disappointment, this varies, but the higher the expectations, the likelihood that the level of disappointment will be greater is there.
10. Ladies, never ever forget that a man is meant to be the initiator and you the responder. Society has reversed roles with ideologies such as ‘shoot your shot’ and all but remember that if a man doesn’t like you but knows you like him first, chances are that he would use you and take advantage of that, knowing that you would do anything & everything to please him. Wisdom is profitable to direct.
11. Know this, ‘no matter how good or perfect a woman you are, you won’t ever be enough for a man who is confused, is not ready, and doesn’t want you’. ‘Love should never ever be a struggle’.
12. In the end, the greatest lesson I’ve learnt of all is this:
‘To embrace true loneliness is better than finding solace in false companionship‘.
Love and Grace,