Do you ever just keep waiting for the other shoe to drop?
Just so you can break free from the fantasy spell you think love is…
Too broken, too hurt, too damaged to love again…
“Choosing to love, is putting yourself at the risk of getting hurt… You have to decide if the risk is worth it”.
Having experienced abuse, broken trust, and heartbreak, it’s not so far-fetched, the idea that love is scary and daunting
However, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, just might become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It’s not so hard to realize you don’t trust easy or love freely…
It’s just sad when you finally meet the right person, who loves you right, and treats you with respect and your heart is too stifled to open up to receive such good treatment, only frustrating the efforts of the other person and when you’ve finally driven them away, you claim they’re just like the others…
“Don’t be so used to bad, that you can’t recognize or relax to enjoy good”.
Many are in need of emotional healing and don’t even know it.
It’s a personal journey every person who’s been severely hurt or abused in relationships need to go through…
We need to do ourselves a favor as well as the person who loves us; we owe it to them to not bring all our hurt (emotional), baggage and negative experiences along the ride of a new relationship.
It’s like carrying a sack of trash on what is supposed to be a romantic walk, that’s what your emotional baggage is, it’s trash. You both might pretend to ignore it, but the stench of the trash (baggage) will eventually rear it’s ugly head often in diverse ways of fault finding, nitpicking, complaining, showing attitude and so on…
Eventually, it’ll ruin what is supposed to be a beautiful walk i.e your relationship. “Don’t be so used to bad, that you can’t recognize or relax to enjoy good”. Mistrust will ruin a relationship faster than any other issue. Constantly looking over your shoulder, questioning every move… Every human has only so much patience…
On the journey to emotional healing,
1. Forgive yourself (it’s not all your fault) for letting yourself be abused and mistreated. Self-resentment is a difficult demon to conquer.
*A lot of reasons why people can’t let go of their past is because they resent themselves, hate themselves or are angry at themselves for those experiences*
2. Then, forgive those who hurt and abused you. It might be stretching it too far, but thank them, you don’t even have to do any of these personally with them, just resolve in your heart and verbalize to yourself. Thank them because if they didn’t show you the bad side to love, perhaps you wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good so much.
3. Thank God for putting the pieces of you back together. For making you stronger through those bad experiences, even the ones you experienced through bad choices & unwise decisions. Thank Him for the gift of the good one. Thank Him for turning what was a bitter love story into a sweet one, for changing the story. Lastly, ask Him for grace to enjoy it and for strength to love again, the right way, His way.
“Love is only right when it honors God, when it’s done His way, when it brings glory to Him”… 1 Corinthians. 13:1-13
No love is perfect, no human is, and “Choosing to love, is putting yourself at the risk of getting hurt… You have to decide if the risk is worth it”. Someone who loves you might hurt you, but won’t keep hurting you deliberately or repeatedly or in the same manner.
“Love is a commitment to do better, be better”.
Love and Grace,