Two sides to a coin,
Some might even say they go hand in hand or are mutually inclusive.
Close your heart to every love but mine; hold no one in your arms but me. Love is as powerful as death; passion (jealousy) is as strong as death itself. It bursts into flame and burns like a raging fire.
– Song of Songs 8:6 GNT
It’s often called the ugly green monster, and generally regarded as a negative, unhealthy emotion.
Some say it truly proves you’re in love, how could you say you love someone, and not be jealous over them right? No, wrong!.
Even though a bit of Jealousy over your significant other does show that you care, when excessive, it could turn love into obsession and possessiveness, the sweetness of love becomes bouts of rage and anger and this is very dangerous, toxic and unhealthy.
In dealing with Jealousy, some insightful introspection needs to be done. You need to identify the root cause, break it down.
Are those feelings valid?
Do they stem from a lack of trust, insecurity, low self-esteem on your part?
Or is it caused by lapses and imbalances or a deficiency in your partner’s love for you?
Are they unfaithful, or is the love one-sided?
Have they given you reasons to distrust and doubt them?
Or do they fail to reassure you of their steadfast commitment to you?
These are things to address. The sooner you find out the answers to these questions, the faster & quicker you can debug yourself of this negative feeling/emotion & quench it’s flame before it becomes a wild fire that consumes emotionally and psychologically.
Does your partner give you legitimate room for concern?
Address it with them, don’t sweep it under the rug/carpet, because it’ll come to bite you later.
A loving and committed partner will do their best to help you through with this. If they dismiss your feelings as illegitimate, then you have a real problem/crack in your relationship, an emotional gap/distance that might need external help/intervention to fix….
Is the problem just your own irrational concern?
Then create your own personal intervention. Rather than weigh yourself down, repeating and replaying negative thoughts and emotions in your mind and head,
1. Give yourself a breather, take a break and just breathe.
2. Clear your mind, empty it of clutter (junk thoughts, garbage ideas).
3. Do not react or say anything. Reacting i.e doing or saying anything in the moment of a jealous fit will lead to regrettable actions and sometimes irreversible consequences. It often ends up causing more harm than good.
4. The mind can generally not stay blank/empty, it’s always active and working. If you want to successfully empty it of negative thoughts, you need to replace it with something else, which is positive thoughts.
These include; things you love about your partner, pleasant memories shared, kind gestures from them etc.
5. To be truly free, take a step further. Be the bigger person (not the jealous, crazy partner). Tell them some of the things you love about them for no other reason but just because….
It’ll work wonders. This will elicit a positive and wholesome response from them, and most likely boost and increase their love for you, as well as your own positive feelings toward them.
Remember to guard and protect…, even from yourself (your own natural human tendencies to act out).
This keeps wellness, peace, wholeness and your relationship thriving and flourishing.
Love and Grace,
© Zizi 2019 ❤️💙💚💛💜